Happy (late) Spiritual Birthday to Me!!!

Yes, I know. This should have been posted yesterday. In fact, I should have written it yesterday. *shrugs her shoulders* But what can ya do?? Anyways…

I want to take a moment to give my testimony. I know I have given it in one of my blog pages, but I think it’s time I re-wrote it so that the change that was wrought in me can be seen clearly.

I was born and brought up in a Christian home. I was educated at home all of my life, made a profession of faith at the age of a 5 (and false one, by the way), and was considered to be a “good kid.” I obeyed my parents, I went to church, and I recited scripture from memory to my Sunday school teachers. See! I was a good kid. But underneath all of the deception and acting, I was rebellious to authority, disrespectful of my parents, hateful to my friends and siblings, and my life was empty.  I lived with this feeling of emptiness for four more years until I could handle it no longer. I had to do something to make myself feel better. In August of 2003 (I was 9), I was sitting in the evening service at a summer camp. The preacher was speaking on hell, and telling all of the campers that if we did not believe on Jesus Christ, we would not be saved and we would go to hell to burn forever. (Never did the preacher mention anything about repenting of my sins and believing on Jesus Christ) I was so afraid! I knew I may not have any more chances to escape the fires of hell because I may die in my sleep! (See how afraid I was?) I went forward, prayed a prayer with the preacher’s wife, and just like that, I was finally safe! But, why was I still fearful every night that I was going to die and go to hell? The answer is so simple, I still don’t know why it took me four more years to see it. But God knew. He had a plan.

On July 19, 2007, I was sitting in the main service on a Sunday morning. Pastor Paul Morrison was preaching a message on true repentance. I had heard the word repentance before, but I never understood what it meant. He preached from Mark 15 and the verse he capitalized on was verse 39, which says, “And when the centurion, which stood over against him, saw that he so cried out, and gave up the ghost, he said, Truly this man is the Son of God.”

After reading that verse, Pastor pointed out that the verse did not mention that the centurion had repentance. He then directed us to James 2:19-20, which says, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?”

Pastor explained that this verse was saying that if I have faith (believe) in God, I do well, but even the devils believe in God. Believing in God doesn’t save me. Only when I repent of my sins and believe on the name of  the Son of God will I be saved. This realization brought to mind a verse that I had memorized at a very young age but had not thought about in years. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Before I knew it, Pastor was giving the altar call. I want to go and kneel at the altar and repent of my sins before God and accept Hid gift of salvation, but I knew if I started walking, I wouldn’t make it without collapsing on my face mid-aisle. I knew God could hear me anywhere, and so, with tears streaming down my face, I confessed and repented of my sins to God and received His salvation! :D What joy was in my heart on that day!

“But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy…” ~Psalm 5:11a~

  God not only brought peace and joy to my heart and life, He has also worked in my heart and life these past four years to change me and make me into the willing vessel for His use. He has given me a new love and respect for my parents and all those in authority, and a new love and appreciation for my siblings and friends. There is still much work to be done in me. It comes slowly, but it does come surely. :) I praise God for His mercy and His guidance!